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History Isn't Real...But Aliens Are
Also known as: why you should visit Easter Island
I remember being in awe when first seeing the Moai on Easter Island up close and personal.
These stunning stone statues are spread out all over the island…and absolutely massive.
Some weighing more 18,000 pounds and standing more than 30 feet tall.
Rumor has it these archeological feats were made by the locals inhibiting the island 800-1,200 years ago.
Locals who were able to crave, create, and more these massive objects without the help of modern engineering or know how.
Or so the legend has it…
I once believed this fairy tale myself. Until I visited Easter Island and started talking with the locals, exploring the nature, and seeing these Moai myself.
Complete and utter bullshit.
On my last full day on Easter Island, my Dad and I decided to take a hike on the “other side” of the island. The one not filled with Moai. The side where most tourists don’t check out.
Our Airbnb host said there was a cool hike there, about 2-3 hours long, on a local’s property. And of course, that she could take us as a tour guide…for a fee.
So we start along this hike and it’s gorgeous. Ocean views, volcanic rock, and green as far as the eye can see.
Not a single soul outside of our group, which include me, my dad, and 3 local friends of the Airbnb host.
Our host does a wonderful job explaining the history of the island as we hike. Digging into the history and culture, filling in some of the blanks my Dad and I hadn’t figure out ourselves.
As we get closer to the end of the hike, the host starts talking about the amazing monument that’s the “finale” of this hike.
A monument the locals made to commemorate the first Europeans reaching the island in the 1700s.
The Moai are truly stunning. Massive. Gorgeous. Unique. And of course, built maybe 1,000 years ago.
So me personally, I’m expecting this “monument” built by the same locals who built the Moai, only 700 years later, to be pretty fucking cool.
Alas, we finally arrive to this super cool, more modern monument the host had been hyping up.
And I shit you not…
It’s a small pile of volcanic rocks piled on top of each other.
Fucking rocks stacked on top of each other. Like a kindergartener would do
From massive Moai to stacking rocks on top of each other like a child would.
My bullshit alarm starts going off…
“So, you’re telling me that 1,000 years ago your ancestors could build these massive, beautiful statues. But 300 years ago all them motherfuckers could do is stack rocks?!”
I don’t give a flying fuck what the locals claim or what scientists and shit are saying.
History isn’t real. Aliens built the Moai, not your ancestors.
Your ancestors stacked rocks, G. You don’t go from amazing statues to just staking rocks on top of each other.
You hear people talk about “doing cool shit” often. Exploring. Going on adventures. Whatever you want to call it.
Then you realize these folks just went to Tulum or Miami, got shitfaced for a week straight, and made unprotected sex with someone’s daughter.
I guess. But we’ve all done that.
Not really something I consider “doing cool shit” — or even an adventure really.
Taking a direct flight to one of the most famous tourism destinations in the world, drinking with people who speak your native tongue, and taking asinine amounts of photos for social media.
Nothing wrong with it, but doesn’t get my endorphins going anymore.
So what does?
Well, I’ll tell you about one of my favorite trips of all time…
Visiting Easter Island. One of the most remote islands on earth. Only one flight in and one flight out each day. You’ve gotta fly all the way to Santiago, Chile before boarding the flight to Isla de Pascua.
It’s not easy to get here.
But once you do…
You’ll be rewarded with one of the best travel experiences of your life. Pristine beaches, volcanoes, hiking, and historical landmarks abound.
Oh, and there’s one more thing:
There’s no poors here.
It’s prohibitively expensive to get to Easter Island. Not only do you have to fly to Santiago, Chile — easy $500-1,000 from anywhere in the USA — but then you have another $500-1,000 bucks for the flight to Easter Island and back.
Hotels run $100-400+ a night. Car rental is an easy $100 a day too.
Which means there are no backpackers, no rift raft…just friendly locals and a few tourists with some cash to spend.
I visited Easter Island a few years back on a trip with my Dad. We spent five days, four nights here.
The old man would wake me up at 5:30AM every morning because “we have to catch the sunrise!” at a different location each day. And we didn’t stop doing cool shit until the sun would set each day.
I was exhausted by the end of it. The OG had endless energy, even if we only slept 4-5 hours each night.
Now, here is the point in the newsletter where I’d normally give you a list of things to do…
Here’s what you do on Easter Island:
Rent a car, bring your hiking shoes, and explore every inch of the island.
There’s Moai everywhere.
There’s stunning ocean views all over the place.
There’s beaches, volcanoes, and more around every corner.
Drive around and explore. Get out of the car and hike around. Catch the sunrises. Stay up for the sunsets.
Eat amazing seafood.
There’s fishing and surfing here too, but I didn’t have time to do that on my trip.
Oh, and of course…
If you have an extra day, make sure to check out the hiking on “the other side” of the island. The place where the amazing stacked rock monument to white people is.
Then you can come to your own conclusion about how:
History isn’t real, but aliens sure as shit are.
P.S: If you’ve got an OG in your life, make sure you make some memories with them. Me and my Dad still talk about this trip — Easter Island and around Santiago, Chile — and how amazing it was to this day.